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Having elegance, charm, and style does not mean wearing couture and high-end brands or being acquainted with royalty. Any woman can be elegant, charming, and stylish while wearing inexpensive clothes. Her manner of walking, speaking, and behaving inspires people, makes them take notice, and perhaps even makes them resolve to be elegant themselves.

Elegance, charm, and style are about manners and movement, not dress and scent, though these two factors play a role as well.

 I have the true feeling of myself only when I am unbearably unhappy. 
– Franz Kafka

People remember Grace Kelly, Princess Diana, Jackie Kennedy Onassis, and Audrey Hepburn not because of their beauty and sense of fashion – countless other celebrities have this in abundance – but because of their smarts and ability to empathize. These women have become paragons of elegance by uniting intelligence and true grace in an eye-pleasing package.

  1. Style is not inherited. You don’t have to be born with it; nor is it something that’s connected to money or status gained from wealthy family backgrounds. Many such families are actually quite unstylish, especially when pride and illusions of superiority have soured their behavior.
  2. Proper behavior. In the end, this is all you need to have style and elegance. It’s what is taught at charm school, along with proper posture and etiquette.
  3. True elegance is not shaped by self-importance and superiority, but by making people feel important. By doing this, the person who makes people feel important becomes truly important.
  4. Charming people are charming because they’re not sour and not bitter. Why? Because if they happen to be in a situation that no person should ever be in, they take action.
  5. Happiness is your responsibility. Always remember that being happy is a decision, a choice. You control your mind, and your mind controls your feelings, and your feelings reflect on your behavior.

If there are people in your life who put you down – kids, siblings, inconsiderate peers, a colleague with a grudge and a snappy attitude to go with it, a boyfriend or husband always forgetting things – talk to them. Let them know you won’t be a doormat any longer. Self-respect begets respect. Mutual respect equals amity. Amity is peace. Peace is happiness. Happiness is the root of true elegance.

Charm Yourself First!

It is said that when the great painter Tamara de Lempicka did not have a commitment for dinner, she put on a long black dress, high heels, and a string of pearls, and sat at a table with candles and silver cutlery. She relished in this way the pleasure of spending an evening in the company of the most important person in her life: herself.

Elegance, charm, and style are not ‘for the company.’ It’s not your ‘good silver’ or ‘good drapes’ or ‘expensive china.’ No, it’s your home itself. And when you’re not home, you take a key to your home everywhere with you! It’s yours, it’s always with you. Or, a better analogy may be your charm is one of your internal organs, like, say, your kidneys – always functioning. The point is, when you think of it like this, you’ll truly be elegant, charming, and stylish, even when you’re alone.

Who do you charm when you’re alone?

Yourself. And you are very, very important, if not the most important! Charm the pants off this person named Y.O.U. Woo her! Make yourself feel loved and pampered. That’s why spas around the world charge what they charge and get away with it.

Pampering yourself

Perhaps a red velvet cupcake smothered in chestnut cream is what she needs. Perhaps that book she’s been meaning to read that she can finally sink her teeth in while chin-deep in a fragrant bubble bath. Perhaps a mani-pedi with a foot rub thrown in. Light aromatic candles and have an elegant dinner with yourself. You can be dining on a pint of ice cream or a bowl full of healthy greens. You can have Bon Jovi or Bach in the background. It’s totally up to you!

Care yourself and your will be cared!!!