Life is pretty stressful, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and stuck. We’ve all been there.
- You have felt like the weight of the world is crushing you. Like the surrounding people don’t even notice you?
- You felt like you could never get anything done.
- You ever had mental jerks that blocked you from achieving your goals.
Have you ever felt frozen in front of something and not done what you wanted to do because you were afraid of what would happen next? Have you ever felt like you were in a cage? What if that cage is called “fear?” or Shyness?
Haruki Murakami says: “And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”Tweet
“CHOOSE not to accept the false boundaries and limitations created by the past.” – Unknown
Have you ever had a goal that, no matter what you tried, you just couldn’t achieve it? Even if you tried to break it down to the smallest chunks possible? Me, too. It’s really frustrating. You start to feel like a failure, like you’re not moving forward, like you’re regressing instead of progressing.
Until we realize the tethers or threats in our lives, we will never break free and will always be like the elephant that’s tied down in merely a small piece of rope.
“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” –Napoleon Hill
One of the best ways you can achieve your goals is by modelling yourself after people who have gone before you, also known as standing on the shoulders of giants.
When it comes down to it, you already know a lot about what you should be doing….
When it comes to positive change and achieving a life you can be proud of:
- You know working smart is better than sitting on your backside.
- You know that you have to be willing to grab hold of opportunity and not expect success to be handed to you.
- You know that negative thinking is going to hold you back.
- You know that you should eat right and avoid junk.
- You know that exercise helps you look and feel great.
- You know that, in order to succeed, you have to work smart and be persistent.
- You know that the combination of a healthy mind, body, and spirit are the keys to your success.
The thing is if you know all this, which I’m sure you do (most of it anyway), then how come you’re not happy with your current level of success? I mean… you know all of this, surely knowledge is power, right? Wrong.
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” –Steve Jobs
Regardless of the target a person wishes to meet, whether it is a physical change or a mental change, or whether he wants to achieve the so-called achievement, creativity can be an effective tool to help you really on the path that is always hard; it is always very hard to get where you want to go.
You will, you need to turn it all and try and change the world in which you live, to make this big cage beautiful for you.
“Definiteness of purpose is the starting point of all achievement.” –W. Clement Stone
Remember, you don’t necessarily get what you want and you don’t necessarily get what you need. Instead, you get what you honestly and truly believe you deserve. In other words, you get what you expect, so why not expect success?
“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.” –Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
It’s short-lived, our time on this little globe, so why not set out every day with an expectancy of success rather than one of failure?
Failure is and always will be a much easier route to take, but for those of you here, those of you who knew me and what I was about, I hope I’ve positively influenced you with the expect success attitude.
I leave you with this: You don’t always get what you want, and you don’t always get what you need.
Instead, you get what you honestly and truly believe that you deserve. In other words, you get what you expect. So why not expect success?
“Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, ‘What’s in it for me?’” – Brian Tracy
Success is some or all of those things to some people and none of these things to others. So how can we ever truly define ‘success’ universally?
The Answer is, we can’t, and we likely shouldn’t. Success can be and is whatever you, or I want it to be. It’s as simple as that.
To me personally, I have several things to define my own success. Now, these are personal to me… they are not yours, they are mine; I recommend you explore yours.
Here are mine in no particular order, some are measurable and some are not.
- To give love.
- To be loved by someone who actually wants to love me and not just because I ‘loved them first.’
- To be joyful and happy.
- To live peacefully.
- To make ‘progress’ in anything that I do… I am always happy if I am moving toward something, no matter how slow or fast.
- To feel good about myself and to love myself for all of my wonderful imperfections. I have not liked myself in the past, and now I do… this is success.
Success is more of a feeling for me… and I hope it stays that way and I hope my children have similar experiences as they grow and explore their lives.
– Mark Whitehand
What is success to you?
How will you know once you’ve achieved it?
Who else benefits from your succeeding?
What have you done today that will bring you closer to it?
Who do you know or who can you find that has already achieved similar success?
Who can you enlist to help you achieve it?
“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.” –Tony Robbins
“Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” –George Addair
“Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” –Joshua J. Marine
No matter how hard you think it is, no matter how much you suffered in the past, you can come out the other side, and you can choose to do it while feeling sorry for yourself, or you can choose to do it with a smile on your face and be thankful for all the amazing things you have going for you.
It’s your life experience that shapes you into the person you are; it’s your bad times as well as your good times. When you learn how to choose to focus on the positive, you’ll be like Martin, the person that lights up a room when they walk into it.
“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” –George Eliot
“In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.” –Bill Cosby
When you introduce our personal lives and health issues into the mix, it becomes nigh on impossible to find the time to figure out the things you really want. Is it any wonder you don’t know where to turn? Don’t know where to start?
Don’t know who to listen to? It can be an absolute maze out there. The mixed messages leave you lost and alone. You’re doing something you think is right, then you’re told what you’re doing is wrong, and you’re useless. How the heck can you win? You can’t. I know because I was a loser, just like you.
“I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.” –Leonardo da Vinci
“Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.” –Jamie Paolinetti
“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” –Jim Morrison
The problem of achieving your goals has nothing to do with your genes, time, money, ability, skill level, or the fact that you’re maybe too lazy, too slow, or anything like that.
The problem starts with the simple analogy of a bucket. You’re probably thinking, a bucket? Bear with me. Think of your life as a bucket… a blue one.
I like the colour blue. This bucket gets filled with all the ‘stuff’ happening in your life: work, home, spouse, kids, social life, play, weekends, friends, partying, bills, problems, eating right, exercising, worrying about the future, the past, and the present, stress, money… everything.
All this stuff fills up your bucket, and what happens if you have a full bucket? It tips over. You crash, you cave, you can’t cope, you fail (at something), you can’t start anything, and you can’t change.
Now all of these seemingly minor things that fill your bucket are threats… to you, your life, your happiness, and your ability to succeed.
“Dream big and dare to fail.” –Norman Vaughan
When you fail at something you are not a failure, you merely failed at that attempt.
You found a way that didn’t work. That doesn’t make you a failure.
Choosing to give up when you face adversity makes you a failure. Failure is a choice, not a label. Adversity and failure are intertwined, but so are the many seeds of opportunity that come from adversity and failing.
“Do what you can, where you are, with what you have.” –Teddy Roosevelt
What happens is your thought process will lead you to make the wrong decisions, you’ll take the wrong action and make a half-hearted attempt at something, you divert to not doing the right thing, which leads to no success, or failure. Why?
To support the beliefs that are being instilled by all of your negative influences. Are you starting to see how all these roadblocks are connected to your ability to change?
The actions we take have to be congruent with the input we get to support our beliefs. When your input is correctly aligned with your core values, your Expect Success Cycle is complete.
You don’t pay attention to the noise, nonsense, and negative input variables, and you only listen to what’s going to bring you forward – that’s when you start to realise that the sky’s the limit.
This will become a lot clearer when we start going through the process of overcoming your threat and discovering your core values. You’ll start to see more clearly how and why we need to keep tabs on these roadblocks. Does this make sense?
“Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.” –H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Remember if you’re currently unhappy with your business, the way you look, feel, or the direction you’re heading, I’m going to hypothesise that you’re a losing, and you’re feeling confused, unfocused, distracted, directionless, uninspired, tired, stressed, alone, slow, un-motivated, isolated, sad, angry, bored, and lost.
Essentially, you’re feeling threatened.
When you follow the system, all the roadblocks, negative influences, and shiny objects become irrelevant and largely invisible.
Why? Because you’re playing by your rules and your parameters in a way that fits you. No one else. You’ll have everything stacked in your favour.
That’s when the magic happens. You know this.
When you follow something that you control, you decided upon, you are comfortable with, feed and nurture what works (on an ongoing basis), and refine and test what doesn’t, you’ll start seeing continuous results quickly and over the long-term.The One Word That Stops A Fight In Its Tracks
“You become what you believe.” –Oprah Winfrey
When you’re under threat, your brain doesn’t feel safe, which means there’s less certainty, which in turn means that your brain’s prediction and ability to respond decreases.
Essentially: Threat is the inability to predict and respond.
Prediction + response = safety. No prediction + no response = threat.
Threat is increased through each of our senses and, when registered, they go through the same process of triggering the threat response through the sympathetic nervous system.
Your central nervous system (CNS), reptilian brain, and limbic system work together to create a threat response regardless of what the actual threat is.
Being under threat is the #1 reason holding you back from changing positively, gaining success, achieving that body, the confidence, and the energy you want and need… so, in order to start moving forward, we need to figure out the threat.
If you want more of what you desire, you need to take care of your threats.
When you start to eliminate the threat in your life, then you can start changing, start associating more pleasure than pain, and start achieving your goals.